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I’m being pulled in a thousand different directions.
As a therapist, Chuck DeGroat hears that line all the time. “I hear it from students and software developers,” he says. “I hear it from spiritual leaders and coffee baristas. And I hear it from my own inner self.”
We all feel that nasty pull to and fro, the frantic busyness that exhausts us and threatens to undo us. And we all think we know the solution — more downtime, more relaxation, more rest. And we’re all wrong.
As DeGroat himself has discovered, the real solution to what pulls us apart is wholeheartedness, a way of living and being that can transform us from the inside out. And that’s what readers of this book will discover too.
- Sales Rank: #129077 in Books
- Published on: 2016-03-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .70" w x 5.40" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 208 pages
Review
Micha Boyett
— author of Found: A Story of Questions, Grace, and Everyday Prayer
“Chuck DeGroat blends psychology, theology, and poetry in a way that embraces the wisdom of both ancient and contemporary spiritual teachers. I believe his writing will do for you what it has done for me — provoke and encourage and push you past the scarcity of anxiety and performance, and into a fuller, more beautiful life of faith.”
Steve Brown
— author of Three Free Sins: God’s Not Mad at You
“Another great book from Chuck. His other books have made a difference in my life; this one came just in time to salvage this old cynical preacher from almost giving up on ever finding healing in this busy world. It will do the same for you. Read it and rejoice!”
John Ortberg
— author of All the Places to Go . . . How Will You Know?
“Chuck DeGroat has a deep commitment to living a life of wholeness. . . . There is life in his words.”
About the Author
Chuck DeGroat is an experienced Christian counselor, a pastor, and associate professor of pastoral care and counseling at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan. He’s also the author of Toughest People to Love: How to Understand, Lead, and Love the Difficult People in Your Life — Including Yourself.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Great insight that I will help me live out my TRUE SELF!
By Justin L. Schuiteman
A few months ago I read Chuck DeGroats book "Toughest People to Love, Including Yourself" and LOVED that book. So once I heard this book was coming out I pre-ordered this. Wholeheartedness is beginning to be something I am striving for in life and this book really helped shed light on how to live more wholehearted in who we truly are.
I love how this book is layed out with the first part of the book "Diagnosing our Unwholeness" and the second part helping me walk through some questions, quotes, and other material to start the journey to being whole. I felt this helped me start to experience the Wholeheartedness Chuck talked about.
There was a lot I enjoyed in the book but these were the two that really impacted me:
1)Looking at all the "d" esires in my life was really good to just meditate on. It helped for me to write them down. I then asked myself which of these would I have a hard time giving up for awhile. The list was quite extensive but the one that caused anxiety the most and made my heart race was reading books. Through that I realized how much of my identity has been wrapped up in learning and the next thing and being productive. I had been so wrapped up in being productive at all times I was disconnected and didn't even reallize what I was doing to myself. So I am giving up reading books for awhile and focusing on prayer and meditation. It has also led me back to getting in the word. My pastor always says a good book is one that get's you in the Word. Your book has done that for me.
-The other part of looking at all of your different selves around your house and having conversations with them. Not just tuning out those voices but talking and interacting with them. This has been monumental for me.
Thanks Chuck for serving me well. This book was a joy to read and I had to force myself to slowdown and fully take it in!
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
A must read!
By Amazon Customer
"Because we’re fueled by the belief that we’re not enough, parts of us go into overdrive, frantically seeking the satisfaction we crave in more success, a better body, or the approval of others. But like the fast-food customer, in the end we’re left lethargic, tired, and hungry for something more..."Chuck DeGroat thank you for this wonderful book. The message is one of true rest for the weary soul.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Healing the Divided Self
By Michele Morin
David Letterman described life as a late-night TV host with this reflection:
“Every night you’re trying to prove your self-worth. You want to be the absolute best, wittiest, smartest, most charming, best-smelling version of yourself. If I can make people enjoy the experience and have a higher regard for me when I’m finished, it makes me feel like an entire person. If I’ve come short of that, I’m not happy.”
To some degree, we all know that vulnerability, and we are well-versed in the ways of frantic effort and self-doubt. Regardless of income, profession, or educational level the pull toward frantic is an ever-present reality, exacerbated by scarcity of time. Chuck DeGroat examines the roots of busyness and exhaustion in Wholeheartedness, pondering why those of use who are among the most well-resourced in the world “feel dirt poor” when it comes to the resource of time. It turns out that the antidote to the epidemic of exhaustion is not simply more bodily rest, but rather a soul-ish rest that leads to wholeness.
Part One of Wholeheartedness examines the divided life in brutal detail along with its deep dissatisfaction, shame, and perfectionism. In his first book, Leaving Egypt, Chuck refers to a “Stockholm syndrome of the soul,” for our “mindless self-sabotage” of poor choices often perpetuates our fragmented and scattered condition. We avoid taking on the hard work of change that comes with a right response to our “Inner Critic” — the voice that keeps us in a perpetual state of not-enough. Shame is the fuel that powers perfectionism and stifles self-compassion. The wholehearted response to the voice of our Inner Critic is, in fact, to embrace our imperfections as a gateway to grace that heals and redeems the messy parts of our lives.
The Apostle Paul described his own feelings of un-wholeness in Romans 7, an intimate journal entry that invites me to embrace my own inadequacies and to receive the grace of God in exchange for my imperfection. Following an enlightening analysis of the neurobiology of wholeness, Chuck urges his readers to pay attention to what’s going on inside the amazing brains God has made, for mending our inner terrain will bring clarity to the big picture.
The poets have always known what the rest of us are just guessing at, and in Part Two of Wholeheartedness, Chuck has harnessed the strong words of poets like Mary Oliver and Gerard Manley Hopkins to light the path toward wholehearted living. Derek Walcott portrays steps toward wholeness as a homecoming, “a holy reunion with our deepest self,” in which you “greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other’s welcome and say, sit here. Eat.”
It is in this way that Wholeheartedness distinguishes its offering of wisdom, for authentic living is not the same as a narcissistic rummaging around in our emotional entrails — nor is it a “live your best life” campaign that feeds my already well-fed selfishness. Instead, it is a road map that points out the obstacles to wholeness and then marks out carefully considered detours that resonate with Sermon on the Mount priorities and Pauline wisdom:
May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!
What a lovely juxtaposition: holiness and wholeness, and Chuck spends a considerable amount of thought in that place, reminding his readers that:
purity is about being put together again, being made whole. No wonder Jesus said that the pure of heart are blessed!
wholeness implies that the inner life matches the outer life.
God will do the purifying work through our brokenness, which is an unshackling from the “exhausting holiness project,” that starts out strong but ends up becoming an obstacle to wholeness over the long haul.
Part Three moves away from theory and into the practice of cultivating wholeness amid our scattered selves. The “trinity” of wholeness is awareness, story, and relationship, and through the use of questions, guided exercises, and observations from his counseling practice, Chuck encourages his readers to rejoice in the truth that God invites us to be curious about our emotions and our body cues. “What’s happening here?’ is a healthy question. The awareness that this fosters will spill over into the living and the telling of our story and the longed-for sense of wholeness that follows finds its way into a vulnerability and unselfishness that is foundational to healthy relationships.
Finally (and ironically), it is in a community of believers that one is most able to realize and express ones wholeness. C.S. Lewis observed:
“It is when I turn to Christ, when I give myself up to His Personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”
What if we were to wake one morning to the realization that wholehearted living is a life of union — and also of unity? What if our churches, families, workplaces — all the sources of our division and fragmentation headaches — became the places where we began embracing our own brokenness and extending grace in response to that of others? And what if the promise is really true? What would happen if we really did release our burdens — the endless do-list from the Inner Critic, the searing brokenness from childhood hurts, and the crushing awareness of our inadequacies. What would happen if we really brought them to Jesus and found that, in doing so, we had come home to ourselves?
//
This book was provided by Eerdmans in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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